Everything is connected !

What's up my world ? You know my english grammar is senseless. So I will do my best. I don't know what else to say. There's much on mind... School and business. However ,I want to do something humantarian in the community. I've been encouraged to go to on the two years missionary which mean I will have to give up an short-term for sake of long-term rewards. As 24 years old LDS convert, it's compicated issue, I'm not sure about an major decision. I understand that if I do not serve an two years missionary I would 'never' have an chance to fulfil a life. Funny. There's a verse in the Book of Mark. Whosoever lose it for my sake will gain in the kingdom of heaven. Listen, I had been ups and downs since moved in Tucson, Arizona. Right now, I'm totally broke, almost ZERO dollars, can't afford everything. I fed up with being broke all time. That made me feel so irresponsible 'kid'. I don't want to return to Tucson and start ALL OVER after two years mission done. Seriously... There's another concern. I'm skeptical about my beliefs in the 'restored' gospel. Why should I preach the restored gospel or serve in the church under something that I can't believe firmly in ? But I have an feeling strangely about the biblical christianity too. I can see they're under the trap ! God taught me a lots of things pros & cons about the biblical christianity through my early LDS experience. I think He has a hidden purpose inside the LDS community. Right now, I'm stuck in the middle of "spiritual triangle" , LDS, Intervarsity Christian fellowship and the Elevate. I love all of them but can't pick up one. I need them ! Yes. I know Jesus is a centered life. Every group has a good and complicated signs. LDS have a complicated faith and its history but they have a strong resourceful system than ANY CHURCHES I ever know ! That why I do not doubt to pay my tithe money without being wasteful. Why should I can't expect anything from the government if I do not pay tax ? Got my point. Intervarsity ! I love that group.... Very energrize ! And CREATIVE ! I'm 24. Most of them under 21 or 20 ! Too young... Sometimes I feel too old for that group.. I look forward about Urbana09. I got to finish off financial challenge for travel expenses to St.Louis. Maybe I should stop being discrimated against my own age. God brought me into this planet in an early 1985. He know which timeline is better for me. He could have been placed me in 1985 B.C. ? LOL. I enjoyed the Elevate group. Almost like Intervarsity, but they are older mostly. Their major spiritual belief in an divine healings RADICALLY ! That's scared off me but happened to me all times. I sensed "Deafness is not an option for God's work" is their attitude. I just be patience with them. Yes, I do believe in an divine healing of deafness, but God's time , His purpose is not our intention. Remember, there's a verse in Exdous, "Who created blind, DEAF, and crippled ?" My internet time is up. I have a class @ 1:40pm. Be right back. Thank you for reading the article. I love you my world !